How crazy are they?  Take this quiz.

Click "yes" or "no," and scroll down for more questions. 

1. Is your potential mate a junkie?

2. Is your potential mate an actor or actress?

3. Has your potential mate ever been addicted to any controlled substances, or are they currently in a 12-step program?    

4. Do they have two or more cats?

5. Within the first 30 minutes of meeting you, do they either ask for your astrological sign, or the time and date you were born?

6. Do they freely and casually claim they are crazy?

7. Do they vehemently deny they are crazy?

8. Do they ever offer to pay for the date -- or at least part of the date?

9. Do they have a job, or other visible means of support?

10. If no job, do they actually intend to find a job?

11. Have they ever worked in a strip club or topless bar?

12. Have they been divorced one or more times?

13. Are they living suspiciously above their means?

14. Do they have a sense that they should get things they haven't worked for?

15. Do they try too hard to draw attention to themselves (see #2 about "actors" above)?

16. Do they feel the world owes them something? (also see #2)

17. Do they repeatedly blame others for their own failures?

18. Do they have implants or other elective cosmetic surgery (other than cosmetic dental work)?

19. Do you feel they use their sex appeal for the "wrong" reasons?   details

20. Are they inappropriately sexual in their daily life (example: somehow bringing up sex and sexual topics into non-sexual situations)?

21. Do they wear underwear on a regular basis?  Or no underwear?

22.  Is their life dominated by unrealistic goals or ambitions?    details

23. Are they ignorant of world or cultural events?

24. Do they have excessive stuffed animals and/or action figures in their bedroom?

25. Do they have personal names for their stuffed animals or action figures?

26. Do they have personal names for one or more of your private parts?

27. Do they drink too much?

28.  Do they not drink at all?

29.  Have they ever asked you to somehow "prove" your "love" to them?   details

30.  Do they have any close friends?  If so, can they prove it?

31.  Do they believe in or practice what you would consider a "non-mainstream" religion?

32.  Do they order expensive meals and only take one or two bites?

33.  Are they inappropriately jealous of previous partners too early in a relationship?   details

34.  Do they do dot their "i"s with smiley faces or little hearts?

35.  Do they sometimes say they need to "take a break from people?" 

36.  Do they frequently and repeatedly vent about the "jerks/psychos/losers" they've dated in the past?

37.  Do they hate the town they live in?   details

38.  Are you still going out with them?

39.  Are you dating them because you want to "save" them?

THE FOLLOWING ARE POTENTIAL WARNING SIGNS™.  These items are still being investigated.  Thus, a "yes" response will only count for half a point.

40. Are they vegetarian, or otherwise overly concerned about personal health issues??

41. Are their parents divorced?

42. Do they own only one cat?

1-5:  You are either very lucky, or you don't really know the other person well enough yet.  Take the quiz again in two or three weeks.

6-39:  Trouble ahead.  Avoid joint bank accounts and joint tenancies.  Pre-nups are essential, but marriage and/or kids are probably a bad idea.  Familiarize yourself with stalking and restraining order laws, and consult with an attorney prior to any major legal or financial decisions, whether they involve the other person or not.

100 or more:  You obviously checked either #1 (the junkie question) or #2 (the actor/actress question).  The quiz is rigged for these first two questions because answering either one of them pretty much renders the rest of the test meaningless.  You're screwed, and your problems won't be solved by some cheesy website quiz.  Seek professional help now.