More Warning Signs^™

These are Warning Signs submitted by visitors to "The Warning Signs™" site.  

• Does their family make the Osbournes seem functional?

• Do they have any family?

• Do they eat too much?

• Do they eat too little?

• Can they get along with ANYONE -- but only for about 15 minutes or less?

• Do they demonstrate an inability to take responsibility for their own life?

• Are their parents more successful than them working in the same industry?  (If it's the "entertainment industry," double the Warning Signs)

• Within the first week do they tell you about their mother who they have a terrible relationship with...and how it is all her fault?

• In the first date do they admit all of their faults, and the number one being they are really, really sensitive?  And the number two being they have a real temper problem?

• Do they tell you that you have been their fantasy?  And, if so, get immediate clarification on that fantasy?

• Do they ask if they can finish your uneaten pizza crusts?

• Have they never read "Catcher in the Rye?"

• Have they read "Catcher in the Rye" a few too many times?

• Are they always in their own body?

• Does she screw with your mind by becoming another person to get the blame (or argument) placed on you?

• Have you ever seen her drink blood or make a live kill with only her hands?

• Does she drain you of your energy to keep you weak so you cannot escape?

• Has she ever showed you where she keeps her cat suit?

• Has she ever showed you where she keeps her black cape with hood and her scythe?

• Does she act like the reason she hides you away is to protect you from the eviler-than-her world?

• Does she present herself in a way that makes it seem like you are constantly getting short and taller?

• Has she ever showed herself to other people just as she is and said, "This is my mate."

• Do any of your friends know that you are with her?

• Are you sure that her only gender is female?

• When you meet people, do you often get mistreated because of her actions, even though she's not there?

• Has she ever taken the blame for ANYTHING?

• Has she ever followed through on a binge on her own from start to finish (for instance: like being a junkie -- is she only receptive of the good effects, and to avoid the down side, uses her ability to dump that on you so you have to feel like shit and heal when it wasn't you who got to do the junk)?

• Has she ever allowed you to be with another woman, without her changing herself to the image of the woman you want to be with in, and then stepping in to ruin everything?

• Within the first six months of your relationship, does she attempt to get your artsy pals to draw a composite of what your children will look like?

• Did she do it within the first month of your relationship? (RUN NOW)

• Is she insanely jealous of your married female friends?

• Does she constantly push you to eat healthier foods so you won't affect your fertility?

• Does she suddenly start pushing you to "look better", even though you were a slob when you first started dating?

• Does she have a bookshelf in her bedroom full of spellbooks?  Do they have notes in the margins about where to obtain fresh chicken blood?

• Does she insist on buying squiggly pens?

• Does she claim that the used condom you found was USED on one of the aforementioned squiggly pens? (Even if that's true, you still got a problem!)

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